I. From Chapter I of Sail To Italy, possibly the silliest exchange in literary history. Princess Noreena meets Pirate Pierre for the first time:
Pierre had come with an offer. “I know where your Giovanni Redicci is. I can get him for you, but it’s going to cost you dearly.”
“How much?” was all Noreena said, though she was taken aback. It was all she could do to keep herself from jumping up and down.
“How much are you willing to pay?” he asked.
“How much are you asking?” she insisted. Though she was willing to hock her new silverware, she was a bargainer at heart.
“Sixty five. French francs, please.”
“Oh? I suppose that means I have to go to France, then.”
“Correct.”
“And that will cost me a fortune in itself.”
“Correct.”
“Monsieur Pierre, I’m afraid you’ll have to take down your offer. I do not have adequate funds at the present.” Noreena was annoyed.
Does he think I’ve got French money growing on my courtyard trees? she thought.
Pierre was silent a moment, then said, “I’ll make another offer, but you may turn this down, too. If you sail to Ireland with me, I will detour to France where you can get fifty five, and I will then get this Redicci for you, then you give me the money and do whatever you wish with him.”
“Fifty five, hmm?”
“I won’t go any lower, so accept or find someone else who can find him. Your search parties weren’t doing so well, and only I know where he is. Weigh all this carefully, your highness.”
“Oh, but I do know where he is. You told me yourself just now. He’s in Ireland.”
“Drat!”
II. From Chapter IV of Sail To Italy. Our heroine, Noreena, has shoved the last piece of evidence in the face of the man she's jailed for killing her father, only to hear surprising words implicating her fiancé:
"It's a telegram. 'From Prince Repual Gofinick of Germany to Constable Selgnab. Start working on it today. Rid us of that old Italian fool,'" Giovanni read.
It all hit her like a herd of stampeding horses. First, the realization that she had never liked Repual, anyway, and then the horrible truth: that he had wanted her father dead.
She started to cry.
“Oh, don’t cry. Did you ever look at that man? How could a good guy be so vastly ugly?” said Giovanni.
"Oh, what a dunce I am. How could I have overlooked such an obvious thing?"
III. These next sentences come from Chapter I of Sail From Italy, when Noreena, now the queen, is interviewing the real Repual, Prince of Germany, for the position of King of Italy by marriage at a dinner party:
Repual smiled a very large smile, considering the size of his mouth. He smiled more at that dinner party than ever before in his life, and perhaps it was just an illusion, perhaps not, his eyes seemed not quite as large and his mouth seemed not quite so small.
He liked Noreena.
Noreena thought he was sweet.
Everything was fine.
Until a dagger flew through the air and missed Noreena by a foot.
IV. Next we have a snippet from Chapter III of Sail From Italy. Here we see the lovebirds, Javier and Carlovita, tested for the first time by a vision from Javier's past:
Javier gasped when a stunningly beautiful woman emerged from beyond the bushes and turned in to the yard. Her presence improved the appearance of the already gorgeous courtyard. She glowed with an aura that followed her, step by gliding step. Javier sprang up and shouted, “Conchita!”
The lady looked over and exclaimed, “Why, Javier! It’s you.”
“Oh, but who else?” smiled Javier. He walked toward the lady. "What brings you to Barajas?"
Sail To Italy and Sail From Italy are available as one volume from the following sources: Kindle | Nook | paperback | Amazon paperback venue
