I'm Not a Performing Artist

Tryna do it like I seen 'em do it over on the UToob

My big, amazing idea to break through with lots of sales of my latest book (which happens to be intensely important to me because it commemorates 800 years of my man, Alfonso X) was to do a series of videos, which would naturally go viral. 

Largely due to the sweeping cultural changes of 2020, I've become much more aware of the power of sites like YouTube. I have a unique voice and can talk on subjects that are interesting to at least a few people, so videos seemed like something I should do. 

I wanted a video introducing the Cantigas de Santa Maria, why they're awesome, and why I wrote a book using some of the stories from them at this moment in time. Then I would have at least one video for each of the stories in Our Lady's Troubadour explaining where the miracle came from, cool details about where it takes place and/or its illustrations in the manuscripts, and the melody of at least one verse and chorus, sung by yours truly. 

Ideally, these videos would've been released throughout 2021 and built up tons of excitement for Alfonso's 800th birthday, as much excitement as I already feel! 

But here we are in November, and not a single video has been made. 

Why is this? I'm not lazy, not a procrastinator. Ask anyone who knows me, who went to school with me, or worked with me: I never miss a deadline. 

Answer that may seem like an excuse: I'm a widow, and if I don't work (at my editing business) and meet my deadlines, nobody (me) eats. It feels counterproductive to pour time into my day job when what I want is for my writing career to take off. That's the suffering of artists in our time. 

Of course I manage to make some time to forward my writing career, so the question remains--not a single video?

Every time I sat down to put together the graphics and think about what I was going to say, I got overwhelmed, and then the slightest thing would distract me. Me, the Great Concentrator. I can concentrate long enough to edit a 200,000-word book that seems to have been written by a drunk fifth-grader (I don't think that about all my editing clients, not by far), but I can't spend a few hours to make a ten-minute video about one of the things I love most in the world? 

It's finally dawned on me that unlike the troubadours at the court of Alfonso X, I'm not a performing artist. 

Surprisingly to this lifelong wordsmith, making videos is not my forte. I bought a microphone and have loads of strategies for making the best of my strange lighting situation. And then the cat starts to meowl. Or the construction project two houses down makes a racket. And then I have to get ready to go to choir practice. 

I'm not great at conversation. Never have been. When it comes to speaking on camera, I'm only really comfortable when I know exactly what to say. I can't seem to sustain a coherent structure on the fly. But who can memorize a script these days? And reading on camera looks terrible. So I'm left with few choices. See the video below if you're curious about what I mean. 

I can barely keep it together for one minute. Plus my voice sounds weird. And perhaps that wasn't the best lighting solution, after all. This is as far as I got before my grand epiphany that the video project is too much at this moment in time, and I'll be happier if I switch to something else. 

What else?

Kind of obviously, my forte is the written word. Always has been. Whenever a professor "generously" "let" students do presentations instead of writing a final paper, I never took them up on the offer. A presentation, easier than a paper? What planet are they on? Not the same one I am. 

That goes in the other direction, too. I'm much likelier to enjoy, understand, and retain something if I've read it as opposed to hearing it. 

So I'm going to do the same series as blog posts. They'll be fun for me to write, and informative and hopefully joyful for you to read. They'll include video snippets and lots of pretty pictures. 

I realize blogs are antique in 2021, and that videos are the wave of the present, and hopefully the future, because I wouldn't honestly look forward to that marvel my brother and I mentioned many times, smellavision. 

But after all, Our Lady's Troubadour is historical fiction, so I'm going to support its release with this historical medium. If you want to read historical fiction, maybe you want to read blog posts, too...?

If I had a lot more free time to tweak the technology and write and remember scripts, a video project might seem doable again. So if you see more videos from me, they're either quite short and manageable, or my life circumstances have changed for the better!