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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday: Death at the Wedding Aftermath

Wow, I was thrilled with the response to my anxiety-driven question to you all last week! Thanks so much for all the comments! I've filed them with the chapter draft and will work with them during editing. I have ideas for all the observations -- yes, even the ones that are diametrically opposed.

These six take place right after the six from last week. Again, this is a first draft. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Doña Sancha reached for her son's arm and held on tightly. "Gonzalico, what have you done?" she whispered into his ear. He opened his mouth and shook his head in disbelief.

Doña Lambra began tearing at her fine silks, sending crisp ripping sounds through the thick air along with her grating sobs. Her whole body shook so violently that her hair flowed out of her headdress, which tumbled to the ground. She strode between the crush of people, wading through the blood and over the teeth, to face Gonzalo González.

* * *

What will she tell her nephew-by-marriage who's the same age as she is and gorgeous as well? Tune in next week!

In the meantime, check out all the other wonderful sets of six sentences here.

41 comments:

  1. The description and feeling in these six was fantastic. Loved every line!

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  2. the image of her walking through the blood and teeth. Wow, that was great

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  3. I love the tension and sense of dread you portrayed in this six -- fab snippet, I'm dying to know what he's done! And blood and teeth...ew?!

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  4. Wow, what an image you've painted with your words. Great job!

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  5. Great six, and beautifully written, I love 'crisp ripping sounds through the thick air' i could feel the sounds and then hear them. Thank you very much.

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  6. You are painting a jarring picture of the time. Very well done.

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  7. Excellent, excellent description. "Crisp ripping sound" is so vivid! I so feel for Dona Lambra. Stunning six.

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  8. Wow - that was dramatic!

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  9. Heart wrenching six! Thank you for sharing!

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  10. Great description. I can feel her agony!

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  11. Great emotion in this. I love the image. Great six!

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  12. Very well written. I can feel her anguish and anger. Can't wait for next week!

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  13. Great description and emotion. This is a story I look forward to reading. Plus, I'm a sucker for Spain :-)

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  14. So vivid, that her grief is literally tearing her apart. Wonderful scene.
    My only concern would be that the names are so similar, but you do such a great job of hooking your readers, they will likely have no trouble following.

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  15. Great use of description to paint a picture!

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  16. Excellent portrayal of sudden shock and grief!

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  17. Real tension and grief - great six!

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  18. I could definitely feel the pain and her shock in this....great 6!

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  19. Through blood and teeth no less! That is a woman on a mission.

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  20. Your writing is so dramatic -- so full of tension and telling details. I enjoy it every week.

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  21. Excellent work, lots of emotion and a great punch of drama.

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  22. I'll definitely be tuning in next week.

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  23. A lot of power in this. What fantastic descriptions! You have a wonderful knack for that. Great snippet!

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  24. Such pain and devastation in her heart! Sad! But, I'm sitting back waiting for the confrontation to come! I know she won't disappoint! Well Done!

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  25. A lovely description of grief and shock! :)

    ~Xakara
    Dawn's Early Light

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  26. Amazing tension! And the question you leave us on? Great job!

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  27. The thought of silks ripping sends a shiver down my spine.

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  28. "Doña Lambra began tearing at her fine silks, sending crisp ripping sounds through the thick air along with her grating sobs"

    What a beautiful line :)

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  29. Wow, intense six! Now what will she say, or do?

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