Wow, I was thrilled with the response to my anxiety-driven question to you all last week! Thanks so much for all the comments! I've filed them with the chapter draft and will work with them during editing. I have ideas for all the observations -- yes, even the ones that are diametrically opposed.
These six take place right after the six from last week. Again, this is a first draft. Thank you for reading.
* * *
Doña Sancha reached for her son's arm and held on tightly. "Gonzalico, what have you done?" she whispered into his ear. He opened his mouth and shook his head in disbelief.
Doña Lambra began tearing at her fine silks, sending crisp ripping sounds through the thick air along with her grating sobs. Her whole body shook so violently that her hair flowed out of her headdress, which tumbled to the ground. She strode between the crush of people, wading through the blood and over the teeth, to face Gonzalo González.
* * *
What will she tell her nephew-by-marriage who's the same age as she is and gorgeous as well? Tune in next week!
In the meantime, check out all the other wonderful sets of six sentences here.
The description and feeling in these six was fantastic. Loved every line!
ReplyDeletethe image of her walking through the blood and teeth. Wow, that was great
ReplyDeleteI love the tension and sense of dread you portrayed in this six -- fab snippet, I'm dying to know what he's done! And blood and teeth...ew?!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an image you've painted with your words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteNicely written.
ReplyDeleteGreat six, and beautifully written, I love 'crisp ripping sounds through the thick air' i could feel the sounds and then hear them. Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteYou are painting a jarring picture of the time. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteExcellent, excellent description. "Crisp ripping sound" is so vivid! I so feel for Dona Lambra. Stunning six.
ReplyDeletePowerful!
ReplyDeleteWow - that was dramatic!
ReplyDeleteHeart wrenching six! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGreat Image! Loved the Six!
ReplyDeleteGreat description. I can feel her agony!
ReplyDeleteGreat emotion in this. I love the image. Great six!
ReplyDeleteLove the six.
ReplyDeleteVery well written. I can feel her anguish and anger. Can't wait for next week!
ReplyDeleteGreat description and emotion. This is a story I look forward to reading. Plus, I'm a sucker for Spain :-)
ReplyDeletepowerful scene! Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat description.
ReplyDeleteSo vivid, that her grief is literally tearing her apart. Wonderful scene.
ReplyDeleteMy only concern would be that the names are so similar, but you do such a great job of hooking your readers, they will likely have no trouble following.
Great use of description to paint a picture!
ReplyDeleteExcellent portrayal of sudden shock and grief!
ReplyDeleteReal tension and grief - great six!
ReplyDeleteGreat tension in this!
ReplyDeleteI could definitely feel the pain and her shock in this....great 6!
ReplyDeleteThrough blood and teeth no less! That is a woman on a mission.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is so dramatic -- so full of tension and telling details. I enjoy it every week.
ReplyDeleteExcellent work, lots of emotion and a great punch of drama.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely be tuning in next week.
ReplyDeleteA lot of power in this. What fantastic descriptions! You have a wonderful knack for that. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteCarry on!
ReplyDeleteSuch pain and devastation in her heart! Sad! But, I'm sitting back waiting for the confrontation to come! I know she won't disappoint! Well Done!
ReplyDeleteA lovely description of grief and shock! :)
ReplyDelete~Xakara
Dawn's Early Light
Amazing tension! And the question you leave us on? Great job!
ReplyDeleteGut wrenching and very vivid.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of silks ripping sends a shiver down my spine.
ReplyDeleteFab imagery, great six!
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet! Very vivid.
ReplyDeleteI like it very much. Great six.
ReplyDelete"Doña Lambra began tearing at her fine silks, sending crisp ripping sounds through the thick air along with her grating sobs"
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful line :)
Wow, intense six! Now what will she say, or do?
ReplyDelete