* * *
At the sight of her son's blood, Sancha lunged toward the wound with a handkerchief grabbed unconsciously from the serving girl Luz's hands. But Gonzalo pushed her away, staining her sleeves with garish red-brown smears. He got back to his feet, wobbling, refusing his brothers' and mother's help with great bravado.
"For God's sake, Uncle," he said almost merrily, "as your nephew, I never deserved such a blow from you." He turned to his brothers. "I beg you not to sue my uncle over my death if I die here."
* * *
Next week: the sassy end of the speech and more blood spilled. Thanks for tuning in and leaving comments. I appreciate constructive criticism for this key scene so very much!
Please visit the other great excerpts here.
Typical male - trying to be all manly when they really need help. Fab snippet, and can't wait to hear the sassy speech. :-)
ReplyDeleteMacho man in full force. Wonder how much more bravado he'll display. Great six!
ReplyDeleteGreat bravado!
ReplyDeleteI love his bravado, fantastic six. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSo macho! LOL on the suing though!
ReplyDeleteTypical man. Geez...
ReplyDeleteSounds like he's getting ready to pick a fight. :) So much bravado. Great six as usual.
ReplyDeleteAnd on a technical note: I was surprised at the word "merrily" though. I understand the tone you're implying, but wonder if this word is quite right. Just thought I'd mention it since you asked for feedback. :)
This has been some wild wedding!
ReplyDeleteRemind me not to attend any of this family's functions!
ReplyDeleteAnd, I agree with Jenna on 'merrily' -- that word gave me pause. I think you can lose it altogether and let the reader decide his tone. :)
Guess I'm glad I don't go to family get togethers any more
ReplyDeleteComing into this cold, I'm so intrigued!
ReplyDeleteWow! Such DRAMA! I LOVE it! I'm sure all put together, this scene is gonna leave any reader on the edge of his seat! Just a tiny suggestion as a person who sees a lot of blood in her line of work--you can use if you want to. Blood is always red until it dries..then it has that darker tint to it. I look forward to reading this when it's released!
ReplyDeleteExcellent tease
ReplyDeleteRefusal of help, that's a stubborn head on those shoulders!
ReplyDelete~Xakara
A Way To A Dragon's Heart 6SS
This is such an outrageous wedding!
ReplyDeleteTypical guy. If this is the wedding, the reception ought to really rock LOL Nice 6!
ReplyDeleteLoved his reaction - great character!
ReplyDeleteMaybe they should have just eloped! Crazy wedding. Like Sandra said, looking forward to the reception, if anyone's alive for it. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat six!
ReplyDeleteGood grief! Hope things improve with these guys!!
ReplyDeleteA great six! Why won't he just let someone help him? LOL
ReplyDeleteGonzalo sure has plenty of attitude!
ReplyDeleteGreat six, great attitude.
ReplyDeleteGreat drama. I can really see the scene.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh this is such an intense. I love it. Great six!
ReplyDeleteThis gets crazier every week! It's like Jerry Springer! LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteLOL, OMG Lexcade, I hadn't realized before, but this really is Jerry Springer -- 1000 years before Jerry Springer! Gives me huge new insight into the story! :)
ReplyDeleteGonzalo sounds like an Alpha through and through!
ReplyDeleteAmazingly intense. Great six!
ReplyDeleteWow, he seems pretty blase about getting killed! :-O
ReplyDeletedon't sue? what a thing to think when you're dying
ReplyDelete