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Sunday, August 7, 2011

More Blood and Guts for Six Sentence Sunday

I got major clamors to keep posting six sentences at a time from this sequence following the death of Álvar Sánchez, so here we are, continuing from last week (when Gonzalo the younger was smacked in the face with a sharp lance tip by his own uncle!).

* * * 

At the sight of her son's blood, Sancha lunged toward the wound with a handkerchief grabbed unconsciously from the serving girl Luz's hands. But Gonzalo pushed her away, staining her sleeves with garish red-brown smears. He got back to his feet, wobbling, refusing his brothers' and mother's help with great bravado.

"For God's sake, Uncle," he said almost merrily, "as your nephew, I never deserved such a blow from you." He turned to his brothers. "I beg you not to sue my uncle over my death if I die here."

* * *

Next week: the sassy end of the speech and more blood spilled. Thanks for tuning in and leaving comments. I appreciate constructive criticism for this key scene so very much!

Please visit the other great excerpts here.

31 comments:

  1. Typical male - trying to be all manly when they really need help. Fab snippet, and can't wait to hear the sassy speech. :-)

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  2. Macho man in full force. Wonder how much more bravado he'll display. Great six!

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  3. I love his bravado, fantastic six. Thank you.

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  4. Typical man. Geez...

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  5. Sounds like he's getting ready to pick a fight. :) So much bravado. Great six as usual.

    And on a technical note: I was surprised at the word "merrily" though. I understand the tone you're implying, but wonder if this word is quite right. Just thought I'd mention it since you asked for feedback. :)

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  6. Remind me not to attend any of this family's functions!

    And, I agree with Jenna on 'merrily' -- that word gave me pause. I think you can lose it altogether and let the reader decide his tone. :)

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  7. Guess I'm glad I don't go to family get togethers any more

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  8. Coming into this cold, I'm so intrigued!

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  9. Wow! Such DRAMA! I LOVE it! I'm sure all put together, this scene is gonna leave any reader on the edge of his seat! Just a tiny suggestion as a person who sees a lot of blood in her line of work--you can use if you want to. Blood is always red until it dries..then it has that darker tint to it. I look forward to reading this when it's released!

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  10. Refusal of help, that's a stubborn head on those shoulders!

    ~Xakara
    A Way To A Dragon's Heart 6SS

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  11. This is such an outrageous wedding!

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  12. Typical guy. If this is the wedding, the reception ought to really rock LOL Nice 6!

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  13. Loved his reaction - great character!

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  14. Maybe they should have just eloped! Crazy wedding. Like Sandra said, looking forward to the reception, if anyone's alive for it. :)

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  15. Good grief! Hope things improve with these guys!!

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  16. A great six! Why won't he just let someone help him? LOL

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  17. Gonzalo sure has plenty of attitude!

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  18. Great drama. I can really see the scene.

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  19. Oh my gosh this is such an intense. I love it. Great six!

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  20. This gets crazier every week! It's like Jerry Springer! LOVE IT!

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  21. LOL, OMG Lexcade, I hadn't realized before, but this really is Jerry Springer -- 1000 years before Jerry Springer! Gives me huge new insight into the story! :)

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  22. Gonzalo sounds like an Alpha through and through!

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  23. Wow, he seems pretty blase about getting killed! :-O

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  24. don't sue? what a thing to think when you're dying

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