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Sunday, May 22, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday, Tenth Century Style

The Arlanzón River in Burgos in 2005.
I've finally decided to give everyone a sneak peek at my work in progress, so far called The Seven Noble Knights of Lara. The scene takes place on the banks of the Arlanzón River in Burgos, Spain, in the year 974. A proud mother introduces her sons to her soon-to-be sister-in-law and her servants. This is a first draft.

* * *

“My sons are outside with my husband, waiting to meet you!” doña Sancha beamed.
Justa, Gotina, and all the other servants followed Sancha and the count outside to find a concentration of masculinity so intense, Justa felt it wash over her like the waves of the Cantabrian Sea. Nine men, each with at least one sword tied to his belt, and seven with raven-black hair shining in the sunlight, laughed and talked amongst themselves, producing a resonant rumble in the women’s ears.
Count García said playfully, “Hey, Gonzalico, come and meet your future relative, and bring those sons of yours. Ah, there they are! I would never have known, since they’re so quiet.”
Justa looked at doña Sancha and tried to imagine all those well-formed men coming out of her somehow.

* * *
I was thrilled last week with all the wonderful views and comments. Thank you so much! Check out the other fabulous participants in Six Sentence Sunday.

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30 comments:

  1. Viviane BrentanosMay 22, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    Nice. Nine versions of Enrique Iglesias? Can't be bad.

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  2. ArleneMay 22, 2011 at 6:35 AM

    What a striking visual you show of all these guys, and their mother. Love your voice, and how the words flow. This promises to be a great read.

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  3. Sarah GrimmMay 22, 2011 at 6:36 AM

    LOL I think I'd be trying to imagine that, too. Great six!

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  4. Elisa DaneMay 22, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Yum! 9 Latin hotties!!

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  5. Cate MastersMay 22, 2011 at 7:58 AM

    Loved this "concentration of masculinity" :) Wonderful teaser.

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  6. Marie DeesMay 22, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    Oh, god, I love that imagery! 9 men! Does that mean 8 left over for us?

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  7. Tanya EbyMay 22, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    I concur. Terrific image of all the men lined up. It's cinematic. :) Nice job!

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  8. LindsayMay 22, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    'concentration of masculinity'- you can almost feel the testosterone. Wonderful six

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  9. Jayel KayeMay 22, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    Excellent setup for the scene. You could feel all that quiet masculinity

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  10. Lisa FoxMay 22, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Wow, that sounds like she just walked into a dream come true!

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  11. UnknownMay 22, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Good lord.... All those men... Swords... Rumbling... Very nice six!

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  12. Sandra SookooMay 22, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    now that's a party!

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  13. AnonymousMay 22, 2011 at 10:41 AM

    Sounds like she's impressed! :D Nice six.

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  14. Gem SivadMay 22, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    Very metaphoric with swords and rumbling and a "concentration of masculinity".

    Great historical voice in these six!

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  15. AnonymousMay 22, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    I love the way you describe a concentration of masculinity. hmmmmm.

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  16. Taryn KincaidMay 22, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    The waves of masculinity, the diminutive mother (at least, that's the sense I get with all the strapping sons surrounding her), you've painted a perfect picture here.

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  17. Jessica E. SubjectMay 22, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    I guess it's good breeding. Nice six! :)

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  18. lexcadeMay 22, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    Love it. I hope to read more!!!

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  19. BarbaraMay 22, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    "raven-black hair" is a bit cliche, but you've got something really good here. Great job! :-)
    Barb

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  20. Elaine CantrellMay 22, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Great visual picture.

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  21. Lauri J OwenMay 22, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    What a fun scene! Enjoyed your six!

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  22. JMay 22, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Oh yes, I love "concentrating" on masculinity, too! :)

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  23. Zee MonodeeMay 22, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    What a sight that would be! Yummy, Jessica. :)

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  24. Lynne MurrayMay 23, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    Gotta love the testosterone atmosphere combined with the suggestion that their petite mother commands them with complete confidence! Fun six!

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  25. Pippa JayMay 23, 2011 at 3:09 AM

    Lol, does she have to pick one? :-P

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  26. Lori W.May 23, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Great six!

    Lori

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  27. Liana BrooksMay 23, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    Interesting visual. I look forward to seeing what you do with this. :o)

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  28. Laura KayeMay 23, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    Love the "concentration of masculinity" line!

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  29. AnonymousMay 24, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    Love the visual you give us here!

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  30. Alanna CocaMay 25, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    Great six!

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