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| Not to give too much away, but this is what Lambra would like to do to Gonzalo. |
I had my writing group this week, so I'm really geared up to share The Seven Noble Knights of Lara with all of you. Thanks so much for all the comments over these weeks. I visit everyone whose site I can find!
These lines follow on right after last week's.
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She resolved never to accept the González family as her own. She would regain control of her situation, even if it meant deception. “I accept your apologies and the Count of Castile has arranged for there to be no disputes on either side. You have nothing to worry about from me.” Justa, Gotina, the other maids, and Little Page had come up to stand beside her. She felt comforted to have as many people with her as her sister-in-law.
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These lines look a little flat right now, but in the context I thought they worked really well -- what do you think? Lambra is all about quiet composure here. The rage is all under the surface... for now.
Thanks so much for stopping by! Check out the other great sentences here.
Fascinating. Makes me want to know whats going on.
ReplyDeleteI went back to last week to get a bit more background and I'm not sure what this family did, but it's clear she is going to scorn them, though with all the dignity in the world. I don't think the lines are flat, but I do think you hit quiet composure on the head. I'f like to see what that rage looks like when it boils to the surface.
ReplyDeleteI think you achieved what you needed to convey. I could sense her iron will, her composure, and a slight vulnerability in that she was happy to have her peeps beside her.
ReplyDelete(BTW, you might want to turn off Captcha for SSS, I just tried to submit using Wordpress, and it doesn't work. Trying Google+ now)
Yes, she very much sounds like she's going along with them...for now. Nice six! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope it works out!
ReplyDeleteI think it works! I like the sense of family. Great six!
ReplyDeleteYes, it works. I totally believe her, she's going to get control back...gosh I hope so!!
ReplyDeleteI want to know what the Gonzalez family did to your heroine! Love the name 'Count of Castile' -- sounds both mysterious and romantic.
ReplyDeleteLovely six. Nice writing.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing - pent-up fury inside, composure on the outside.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the rage to come out! Fab snippet. :)
ReplyDeleteooohh...loved this six. Definitely makes you want to read more :) nice job
ReplyDeleteThe lines didn't sound flat to me at all, after all the excitement that proceeded them. This is one amazing story. :)
ReplyDeleteI've missed your sentences :(
ReplyDeleteI have a present for you at my blog... http://lexcade.blogspot.com/2012/03/as-many-of-you-know-ive-entered-into.html